A hilarious modern fairy-tale mash-up set in a world in which witches are real, magic is real and fairy tales are not only real ... but recent history. Once Upon a Modern Time, in the city of Rexopolis, in the Kingdom of Illustria, lived twelve-year-old Roxy Humperdinck, half-sister to Hansel and Gretel (yes, THE Hansel and Gretel, not that she knows it). Enter Cinderella ("Call me Jones") Jones, who most definitely does NOT want to marry ghastly Prince Charming and is far too busy hunting for lost relics of the Cursed Kingdom. But now she needs Roxy's help. And Roxy's about to discover the truth about her world and her family: that witches are real, magic is real and fairy tales are not only real ... but recent history.